What you are really teaching them

When parents don't agree with each other when it comes to teaching their children rules, limits, respect, and all the other things that will guide them through life there can be major problems. At a very early age children can pick up on disagreements and differences between parents and use it to their advantage.

Just a few weeks ago my son was playing a video game on x-box live, an online gaming site. He wanted to wear the headset that would enable him to talk to and hear other people that were playing the game. I told him he couldn't wear the headset because he didn't need to hear the other people because they were saying bad things. The people playing are much older,(considering my son will only be four years old in two weeks), and talk about many in appropriate things that he doesn't need to hear. He was upset for a minute but decided he better play however he could while he had the chance.

About two weeks later he was playing on x-box live again, and once again he wanted to use the headset. Of course I told him no again, but this time his mother heard us and said," Why can't he wear them? It's no big deal." I tried to explain to her that he didn't need to hear the language that people used on there. After that didn't work I gave up and she gave him the headset. About ten minutes into the game my son was talking into the headset saying, "I'm not a faggot, don't say that, that's not a nice word". Then his mother came through the house saying he couldn't use the headset anymore. All this could've been avoided if she would have just listened in the first place. Instead she had to go against what I said and let him have his way. So all she has taught him is if he can't get his way with me, that he can just go to her. This is just one example of our disagreements on things. There are many times I will tell my kids to do something or not do something and she tells them the complete opposite. It's very frustrating.

She is teaching our kids to go against authority and basically do what they want. They have learned that if they don't get the response they want from one person to go to the person that will give them what they want. This is something that if not broken will give them serious problems in the future.